Sometimes the hardest thing to do is talk

This Eating Disorders Week, we wanted to share why we wrote The Dark Side of Food and why fundraising for Beat eating disorders means so much to us. We are Harleen and Andrew and we are the founders of The Buddyhood Publishing. We publish stories with purpose… stories that help to save and change lives…stories that make an impact.

The Dark Side of Food was our first graphic novel and it explores how social media influencers are abusing their power online to pedal fad diets and weight related misinformation causing eating disorders to spiral. We have both had our own journeys with stress and the impact it has had on our relationship with food. When we were in the thick of it, we knew things weren’t right but wecouldn’t talk about it. That is why we wrote the story, a means by which discussion could begin.

I (Harleen) was fresh out of university and having written my dissertation on climate change I joined an energy company. It was a brilliant job and given the financial crisis I was lucky to have a job. However, very quickly my conscience was kicking in, the climate impact and the fact that oil prices rose and the company did well on the back of any negative geopolitical news really bothered me. I realised my success was being measured on the conflict in the world. I couldn’t sleep and the stress of keeping up a job that grated so badly against what I believed in made me develop IBS. Very soon I struggled with food and lost a lot of weight. The more everyone around me mentioned it, the more I started to hide what I was not eating, pretending I was ok. It took Andrew as my best friend to talk to me about his story that got me talking.

I (Andrew) was on a work placement abroad and suffered feelings of isolation and loneliness without having my friends and family support network around me. Without realising it, I fell into what turned into quite a toxic relationship. The controlling nature stoked feelings of anxiety and depression which affected my relationship with food and I frequently felt physically uncomfortable fearing what to eat in case it triggered my gut and lost weight as a result. I needed to find myself and my confidence again which was only enabled when I spoke to my friend, Harleen, about my experience and feelings.

We both started talking about a story; Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code, over lunch. We spoke about how interesting the story was and how it made you believe things that weren’t necessarily real. Slowly we started opening up on our own beliefs about jobs and relationships, and how we believed things to be real but clear l your gut was saying otherwise. We realised our bodies were trying to tell us something and we were bottling it up inside. Having finished a proper meal, distracted by the story, we discovered how far we had come from talking, thus beginning the first steps on our journey to recovery and the courage to make a change. After that lunch, Harleen left her job and Andrew found his way back home. We didn’t become more than friends until a few years later. It wasn’t love that saved us, it was friendship… a Buddyhood.

The Dark Side of Food is a story written as a conspiracy to trigger discussion and get people talking. The pressures young people feel today are huge, however, the power they have in unfollowing is even greater. We support Beat eating disorders because we found it hard. We wish we knew they were there to reach out to when we needed them. No child or young adult should feel the same way, that is why we are raising awareness on eating disorders and the crucial support available from Beat. Our book and Beat are there as a friend, so nobody feels alone.

You have a friend is us… you have a buddy. You are seen, you belong, and you matter.

Thank you for helping us make an impact.

Harleen and Andrew